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Aisle 2
Sometimes I buy groceries. Like when I’m hungry. Or on the wagon. You should never go to the grocery store when you’re off the wagon though. Or under the wagon. Or even next to the wagon for that matter because you don’t need diapers when you don’t even have children. Or maybe you do. I find the people at these stores very considerate. They smile, say hello and even move to the side when you lose control of your cart and can’t stop because your foot is stuck in the cart’s undercarriage from a trick-gone-wrong. Those are some nice people. Not so nice when it comes time for check out though. Slamming down that plastic item divider on the belt. I thought we were friends. You were laughing so hard you cried when I started that food fight in the produce section. Or were you just crying? It’s not like asparagus is sharp. Or even hard for that matter. Except if it’s frozen. I love frozen peas. And popsicles. Popsicles that aren’t frozen I don’t like though. I guess that would be juice. Juice could sting your eyes. But the asparagus couldn’t have hurt that bad. Not bad enough to deserve the divider; the Berlin Wall of grocery stores. My Popov and Robitussin aren’t even close to your Triscuits. You won’t see me throwing down the plastic. Unless it’s to post bail. Or play some Twister. Now that’s a game. Where’d these diapers come from?
Sometimes I buy groceries. Like when I’m hungry. Or on the wagon. You should never go to the grocery store when you’re off the wagon though. Or under the wagon. Or even next to the wagon for that matter because you don’t need diapers when you don’t even have children. Or maybe you do. I find the people at these stores very considerate. They smile, say hello and even move to the side when you lose control of your cart and can’t stop because your foot is stuck in the cart’s undercarriage from a trick-gone-wrong. Those are some nice people. Not so nice when it comes time for check out though. Slamming down that plastic item divider on the belt. I thought we were friends. You were laughing so hard you cried when I started that food fight in the produce section. Or were you just crying? It’s not like asparagus is sharp. Or even hard for that matter. Except if it’s frozen. I love frozen peas. And popsicles. Popsicles that aren’t frozen I don’t like though. I guess that would be juice. Juice could sting your eyes. But the asparagus couldn’t have hurt that bad. Not bad enough to deserve the divider; the Berlin Wall of grocery stores. My Popov and Robitussin aren’t even close to your Triscuits. You won’t see me throwing down the plastic. Unless it’s to post bail. Or play some Twister. Now that’s a game. Where’d these diapers come from?
